Note 1

Sometimes I just really need to write. I have so much to say but never anyone to talk to (at least that is interested in listening). I've found that I punish myself for thinking. To myself in my head I think as though I am wasting time that could be spent producing. In reality, in all of our minds, is it better to dream and wish and think, or is it ideal to work and push constantly to improve and go further? It's ironic to me that is think one should naturally go with the other. Is this wrong? Should I not think and not dream to further myself and improve my capabilities through reflection? Yet subconsciously I know I will torment myself when i catch myself idly thinking. Idle hands are the devils helpers (or something kitschy like that). I have also noticed that I am uncomfortable in my pronunciation of nearly all words which leads to the hindrance of my verbal communication skills. Typing or writing, I am vocabularily blessed through years of reading, studying, observation and perfecting. Vocally, I am insurmountably stunted by my lack of mid-frequency hearing as well as unsatisfactory speech therapy teachers provided by the St. Johns county school district.